A very nice visit, some new friends made, and some lessons learned...

Every once in a while I get into an article not knowing where it will take me or how it will end.  And then every once in a while I get into something in life, which in this case was a visit to my in-laws in Georgia, thinking I know exactly how it is going to play out only to be surprised and, in this case, very much the better for it.

I already mentioned that I was able to play a couple of rounds of golf at the Robins AFB golf course.  That proved extremely satisfying and quite a treat, given the fact that the weather leading up to the trip had been the pits coupled with the less than pleasant reports I was getting from our neighbors who were keeping an eye on the place while we were gone.  But --- since they were here and I was there, I shouldered my guilt and whacked away. I think I owed it to them to have a good time (is there any logic in that??).

But that wasn't the reason I was there.  My sister-in-law had some surgery so Pam and I spent the day at the hospital with her.  It was a very long day for us, just sitting there, but not nearly as long as it was for her.  She really got put thru the ringer just to get ready to have the surgery.  But the very skilled hands of the surgeon and his team (along with a watchful eye from her guardian angel) successfully maneuvered the 4 hour surgery.  She came out of it with a little deeper voice for a day and a neck brace, but still in one piece. 

She thanked us and said our just being there really helped her.  I didn't think any more of it, but later I did remembered how much more calm I was and so thankful when Pam was by my side when I had my heart surgeries. 

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, there were two very professional, very friendly ladies who took care of my brother-in-law.  He had some surgery a while ago that didn't go so well and has been living with the consequences ever since.  He is a Vietnam vet and someone I look up to.  So while Pam stayed at the hospital all the next day and night, I helped out some at the house.  I also had the pleasure of being able to just sit and talk with him-- but listen more than anything.  Quite by accident I also noticed a whole bunch of little things the ladies did for him, none of which were very pleasant or expected.  I have a whole new respect for people who do home health care for the elderly and sick.  Kathy, Linda -- you are certainly deserving of a special place in heaven.

The neighbors on either side of them take turns cutting the grass, and taking out their garbage can for the pick-up.  They also help out with other little things.  One of the neighbor ladies even came over the night before Thanksgiving (and by the way, it's pronounced "THANKS-giving" in Georgia, as opposed to the Yankee way of "Thanks-GIVE-ing") to see if we would like to have dinner with their family.  After assuring her that we had already made arrangements, she had a cake sent over saying that was the least she could do for us. 

We spent 10 days there and got quite a lot done.  By the time we left, my sister-in-law was back on her feet and was able to move around some.  She's not dancing any jigs, but I suspect she never could do that anyway.

OK.  So what did I learn out of all of this? 

•  I learned that family is what family does; and family does what family has to do ... and sometimes help can come from the most unexpected places.
• I learned (or actually, relearned) that sometimes you don't have to say a word in order to carry on a conversation.  Just being there, looking someone in the eyes, and listening is enough.
• I learned that we really don't need a "fancy-10-course-all-day-followed-by-football" meal to have a good THANKSgiving.  It's a time to be with family and friends, to reflect on all the blessings and challenges we've been given throughout the year, throughout our lives. And that is all it was ever meant to be. But beyond that, it's a chance to realize that we didn't do "it" or anything else for that matter by ourselves and couldn't have done "it" without help from some of the people sitting around the kitchen table.
• And finally, I learned that an end of some kind is going to come to everyone and you'll never know when or what that end will look like. So I figured I'd better live my life as well as I can, as full as I can, and with a kind eye to as many people as I come in contact with. It really doesn't do any good to bull your way through life and relationships. 

I know this entry is a bit long, and maybe too personal for some of you and that's OK. But as I said, sometimes I just don't know what the end of something is supposed to look like. So I have to look around and see how others would have done it, how they would have ended something.  And in this case, I came up with this short note from Emerson that I think will work:

To laugh often and much;
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of 
    children;
to earn the appreciation of honest folks and to endure the
   betrayal of false friends.

To appreciate beauty;
to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether
   by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social
   condition;
to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have
   lived...

This is to have succeeded.

And if you don't like that ending, then try this one:

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth. (Wm. Purkey)

Hooah