Beware -- a new, secret society...

This past weekend I was officially taken in as a member of a secret society. Now, usually I'm not much for these kinds of things, but this one got me. Keep your eyes open -- it could get you too!!!

It all began as I was helping Pam with her shopping. We left the house Saturday morning and went to the Fairfield Mall. After that, she said she needed to stop at a Wal-Mart or somewhere to look for a Christmas jar to put some things in. Well, we stopped at the Meijer store in Huber Heights, you know -- the big, new one. That's where I first got the feeling that something or someone was watching me. I dropped Pam off at the front door and in she went. I pulled the truck down to one end of the parking lot to wait.

Da-dumm, da-dumm, da-dumm.


I also had the little hairs on the back of my neck tingling. But I looked around and didn't see anything out of the ordinary -- just cars. Of course, I didn't know what I was looking for.

Then Pam came out and we went up the road and stopped at the Target store (I know, what was I thinking stopping at that !!#^^@$# Frenchie store). Again, I dropped her off at the door and pulled down to the end of the lot to wait. It is then that the universe was revealed to me...things cleared up. As I happened to look about, I noticed I wasn't alone. There were others like me sitting in their cars and trucks, other men who dropped their wives off at the door, others waiting, waiting, waiting...

But they were not just sitting there. They had that look in their eyes -- new Christmas presents, a new 54" LG plasma TV, a blue ray player, new power tools, -- more power! Argh, Argh, Argh (For those who don't recognize it, that was the "Tim, the Tool Man" Club chant that was faintly wafting in and out of the engine revs in that part of the lot.). I could have also sworn that I heard a faint chorus of "Grandma got run over by a reindeer."

I was almost mesmerized by the overwhelming brotherhood of the whole thing when a lady that I thought was Pam came out of the front door. I didn't want to break the growing bond that was taking control, but it was cold and I had better go get her. Well, I pulled away and got closer to the door when I noticed it was not her. Sheepishly, I pulled back into the comfort of the Brotherhood and waited, not daring to look around and possibly see a thinly disguised smirk from one of the "Guys" -- that "tricked you" smile. I'm sure at least one of them was questioning my suitability for membership.

It seemed like an eternity, sitting there staring straight ahead, and then she really did come out. I have to admit I hesitated a bit and then slipped the truck into gear. I looked around to make sure I was not going to further embarrass myself by hitting a curb or light pole as I maneuvered my way to the fire lane where the real men parked. And that's when I first saw it -- the guy in the green mini-van kinda gave me a nod and a little smile -- it was like he was telling me not to worry. Everyone in the club has made that mistake at least once. Things will be OK. I think he was telling me that my membership was still good, and my initiation was done. Just don't let it happen again.

I figure if I could get forgiveness and reassurance from a guy in a mini-van with a "My kid is an Honor Student at ..." sticker on the back bumper, then things were really going to be OK.

Oh, yeah, the hair on my neck was up in the Meijer lot because I had the back window cracked a bit. Duh!!

I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. (Author Unknown)

Hooah